Can you believe that it was two years ago since I posted about the excitement of our son’s surprise proposal? And in just five short weeks, I am going to be Mother Of the Groom – a MOG. (Really that should be MOTG, but it doesn’t have the same ring to it!)
To say I’m excited is an understatement! The wedding venue is a beautiful little winery in the Adelaide Hills, and you may all have heard about the Cudlee Creek bushfire that ripped through parts of the Adelaide Hills last December, well the fires came up to all four boundaries of the winery and we are extremely grateful that we still have a venue at all!
Australians don’t usually go in for the Four Weddings and a Funeral look with morning suits and proper posh hats, although I’m sure they do in some circles. We did! Almost 31 years ago now, and back in the English countryside. Chief and his best-man ended up in the swimming pool in their hired morning suits (they got away with that one!) and Mum crushed her hat when she sat on it (sorry mum!) But none of that mattered; we had a super day full of love, laughter and happiness – and a few tears!
For the forthcoming nuptials, I’ve sat back and let the happy couple do all the organising and besides arranging accommodation, flights, a new frock, and opening the cheque book every now and then, our involvement has been minimal.
So today, I decided to Google the ‘mother of the groom’ and it has just dawned on me that there are responsibilities and etiquette, of which I have been completely oblivious to – even a survival guide if required (for heaven’s sake!)
Admittedly my research took me to an American-based worldwide website, The Knot, and even though they aren’t in Australia, I thought I’d share some of my findings – just in case!
The Wedding Day Dress Code
The advice on The Knot website states as “Per general etiquette, the mother of the bride buys her day outfit first, then notifies the mother of the groom about the colour, length and overall formality of her choice. But if the groom’s mom doesn’t get word by the four-month mark, she should touch base with the bride-to-be about what to do.”
I can tell you that this MOG has not once been in touch with the MOTB regarding our wedding outfits! The chances of us rocking up on the day wearing the same outfit are pretty slim – I think! Now that I come to think of it, I’m not so sure. I’m no mathematician and unable to work out the probability (or is it likelihood?) of it happening, but even if it did, what is wrong with that? I think it would be a demonstration of family connectedness, not an all-out fashion war – would it be so wrong?
What can I expect from the mother/son dance?
Wait, the what…? Hang on a minute, no one has mentioned anything to me about dancing – with my son. The last time we danced together he was probably 4 years old, standing on my feet as we jigged around the room to some nursery rhyme – no, I don’t think so!
What are the traditional mother of the groom responsibilities?
My blood went cold when I read this! Imagine if it was my responsibility to have booked the celebrant and everyone just assumed that I had? ‘Oh! yes the MOG is doing that and she’s such an organiser, no need to remind her!!!’ And then we are all sitting for the start of the wedding ceremony realising that there is no celebrant! Just imagine! Thankfully, my duties are pretty much the tasks I’m assigned by the bride to be which at this stage is zilch! However, I did find some other MOG duties (a la USA) and I think I’m doing okay!
- Host a dinner. A bit tricky given that we live inter-state and over a two-hour flight away, only rocking up a couple of days before THE big day
- Help with your vendor search. Who needs me for this – already done – tick!
- Manage the groom’s side of the family. Well yes, of course!
- Attend the bridal shower. Is this the same as the bachelorette party? (I’m confused) If so, yes! next weekend
- Figure out day-of fashion with the mother of the bride. Geographically challenging, unfortunately.
- Plan and host the rehearsal dinner. The what…?
- Be on deck during the wedding. Why wouldn’t I be – der!!
And then I found on a website My Wedding, How to be a Great Mother of the Groom I have to:
- Reserve judgement (of what?)
- Communicate well (no, really?)
- Offer specific help (of course!)
- Pick your battles (what battles..?)
- Focus on the long term (who wouldn’t?)
It’s all just a little too intense for me so on that note, I’m going to settle back and let the next few weeks simply wash over me, rather like one of those champagne fountains you see at weddings – wait, was I supposed to arrange that?
More to come!