Four days after my 52nd birthday I started Dry July, a month of abstinence from alcohol while receiving donations to support various cancer charities. I’ve been doing well, extremely well actually and I’m delighted to report that I am NOT an alcoholic.
However, two weeks in and my long-standing partner Fertility has decided I am no longer party central, and has packed her bags and moved out, leaving the door wide open for some stranger to move in. I’ve heard of this stranger, knocking on the doors of unsuspecting friends and family, and so far I have done well to avoid her but two weeks ago she came a-knocking with her best friend Hot Flush. My mum taught me never to talk to strangers, let alone let them in, so right now I am feeling invaded and not quite sure what’s going on.
You see, Madam Menopause has paid me a visit – not for long, just long enough to drop her trashy friend Hot Flush off who thinks she can take over without warning at any time of day or night. She’s been waking me up at all hours with her antics and for someone who is usually a snuggle-under-the-duvet kinda gal, I am forced to throw back the bedding before I spontaneously combust. Chief’s all for calling in a witch doctor to wave a healing hand over me but I’ve told him that’s not helpful.
So while I’d love to throw back an iced-cold beer to dampen down Hot Flush and her contrary ways, I’ll stick to the usual lime and soda thanks very much. There’s more to come on this I’m sure!