I could have incorporated at least four of the single word prompts into my Day 3 assignment, all relating to the same subject but the one word that crops up more than any other is choice. It’s a word that has been rebounding around my thought-bin, rather like a malfunctioning robotic vacuum cleaner for a few months now.
Those of you who follow my blog (thanks!) will know that:
a) we arrived on the shores of Adelaide almost eleven years ago to start a new chapter, full of new adventures and
b) we have recently relocated to Brisbane (minus the children)
It’s taking a while to settle, I’ll be honest, although I quickly secured some temping work for a few months and we have recently moved into a house in a lovely suburb, being reunited with our belongings and furniture after a four month separation. Chief is like a pig in muck in his new role, combining his love of sport (or rugby mainly) with the hospitality industry. He claims to be the happiest he’s ever been in a job which in itself is a real ‘wow’. I’m struggling to find my ideal job and would like to find some new friends and of course I’m missing our children who stayed in Adelaide. Our 23 year old son is as free as a bird and is possibly moving up here shortly whereas our 19 year old daughter is halfway through a double degree at the University of South Australia and didn’t want to move. These mixed emotions all lead to me sometimes feeling frustrated and wanting to yell and scream at the Chief that he has ruined my life bringing me to Brisbane.
Yesterday I caught up with one of my Adelaide girl friends. I’ve known her for a good ten years now and we had a ‘virtual’ catch up via social media. In recent years she has experienced some traumatic times in her life which lead her to ‘finding’ herself spiritually. Whilst my spiritual side is well and truly lost and wandering in the vast Australian Outback somewhere, I am often questioning my friend’s take on the ‘whys’ and the ‘what fors’; I don’t ever knock it and often let her know that I just don’t get it – yet. I was relaying my frustrations to her yesterday and the unnerving fact that I sometimes feel and wish that I’d never moved to Brisbane and she quite rightly pointed out that we all have choices, implying that I could have stayed in Adelaide and not supported my husband in what is undoubtedly, an incredibly wonderful opportunity and brilliant career move. I don’t think it’s quite as simple as that, do you?
There is also a reason why I feel the need to yell and scream at the Chief and it’s not the frustration I’m feeling, apparently!
When Chief first mentioned a possible move to Brisbane was on the cards, my initial reaction was ‘well I’m not going’. My life was in Adelaide – I had a wonderful job, a beautiful house, a sink with a view, fabulous friends and of course our two babies.
What was I to do? Tell Chief that he was ‘on his own, mate’. That he shouldn’t take this job – stay in your current one until you reach the fast approaching dead end?
Perhaps we could have tried the long distance marriage – again. We did that for thirteen years back in the UK and it’s damaging however strong your marriage is.
Was the choice actually made the day I walked down the aisle 27 years earlier? Maybe a generation or two back yes, but not now surely. Some would argue that I made my choice then which mapped out the path my life was to take – yes, we’ve made choices along the way, some good, some bad, some regrettable and some wonderful.
Although I didn’t want to move, I made the choice to; to stand by my man (cue Tammy Wynett) I had to look at it as another of life’s adventures to be experienced. I made the choice to relocate; it may not have been a free and willing choice but a choice I made none-the-less. So, I have to pull myself together and see this move as an exciting opportunity and while my friend had me leaving my husband to fulfil my inner happiness, I will dam well make the most of this wonderful new chapter – together!
9 replies on “Everyday Inspiration, Day 3: One-Word Inspriation”
I think that both your friend and you are right on the subject of ‘choice’. In a very literal and real sense you did/do have the choice to move or not to move with your husband. But of course, in a more emotional sense, what choice do you really have? In a literal sense you could choose to move or not to move, but the real choice is an emotional one between your husband’s life opportunities and your own preferences.
As an expat wife myself I know the dilemmas and see it in others often.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. We certainly do feel like we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place sometime don’t we?
Well done! Ironically although you felt like you had no choice and were trapped into moving possibly selflessly, I think you have chosen a path of freedom and joy within the safety of your marriage. I enjoyed reading your post 🙂
Thanks very much! I certainly think you’re right and I am doing my hardest to embrace the move as a path of freedom and joy. Glad to hear you enjoyed the read 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m going out on a limb here and thinking he has already learned to fitter out the screaming. At least for the first fifteen minutes or so, well I’ve been with the same bundle of estrogen for twenty and I’m convinced you scream because you care, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! something like that 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m half deaf when I get home, it’s the house! Really😉
Every move we make has positives and negatives. That’s a given. Your writing reveals an individual who is a thinker, a caring, loving and strong willed individual with a vibrant personality.
With those attributes in mind I’m sure you weighed up all the factors before moving north. Living in Qld is like living in another country and it will take time to make the adjustment from SA.
Gaining ‘friends’ in your new environment will prove a challenge, similar to the challenges you faced when moving to Australia all those years ago.
You conquered all then and I know you will conquer all now.
Trust me on that. I speak from experience. In my 76 years I’ve been schooled, lived and worked in 15 different towns in NSW. When I was a boy it seemed we were always on the move.
As an young adult it seemed that life as a nomad was the norm as I travelled hundreds of thousands of miles around Australia in the course of my work.
I’ve now lived in the one place for quite a time. Making friends is not easy but eventually people with similar interests turn up in unexpected places and associations form.
One thing I have learned is never to compare new friends with old. Just doesn’t work. New is just that, new.
Sorry to waffle on and on. I know how you feel, just one more little sentence.
Always look ahead, never look back with remorse in your thoughts.
Wow! you know me better than I do! Thanks so much for your honest and enlightening response and your final sentence sums it all up “Always look ahead, never look back with remorse in your thoughts” – I like that and it reminds me of the Wallabies coach who was asked about the teams upcoming game with the All Blacks and he said a similar thing; something along the line of ‘you never look back – you get a stiff neck when you do that!’
You have many wonderful stories to tell from all your travels around Australia which I really enjoy reading on your blog – cheers mate!