After months of uncertainty and the odd feeling of limbo that comes with it, we have finally had confirmation that a move interstate, to Brisbane, is on the cards for us. When I say us I mean my husband and me; our young adult children have decided to stay in Adelaide; our daughter would prefer not to transfer universities and our son is happy in his job and happy in love. This means that the unthinkable is happening and we are going to be empty nesters. Our family will never, EVER be the same again and that fills me with fear, panic, loss, dread and the desire to burst into tears at a moments notice.
I thought I’d have at least another three or four years before I would have to face this…. thing, this painful part of being a parent. Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise that we don’t have months and months to stew over the inevitable. Besides isn’t it meant to be the fledglings that take flight not the parents?
So knowing our time together is precious, last Friday I took my daughter out to breakfast. With her capabilities of sniffing out good food through Instagram, we found ourselves at the Spill The Beans cafe – it had a good vibe, great coffee and the breakfast was pretty good too. The background music was something I’m sure, trending on Spotify – it had that warm and fuzzy feel good about it. We chatted for a time between mouthfuls and all of a sudden, I had the most overwhelming urge to fold my arms on the table, lay my head on them and sob – but I didn’t. That’s just feeling sorry for myself and asking for the sympathy vote from you lot. Instead, I chose to admire my daughter and her positive outlook and way of dealing with the inevitable change to our family. “It’s just a new chapter in our family’s life, Mum, we just have to get on with it and it’s going to be a great adventure”. This is ironic coming from the little girl who was my shadow for the first eight years or so of her life. Where ever I went, there, she was by my side, not pestering me or asking for anything but just there with me; I was her security blanket for awhile back then. It gives me great satisfaction knowing that I have given her the wings to take flight and be comfortable with her own company and that she is confident to go out there and dip her toe into the world and all it has to offer. My job is almost over; I’m hovering in the wings just in case she forgets her lines and needs a cue. Therefore, I shall take courage and strength from her, get out there and embrace this next chapter head on.